Summer is slipping away, I noticed the air felt different yesterday afternoon during a walk. I’m sitting outside as I write this listening to the soft sound of rain. The monsoon kicked in and we’ve had a lot of wet afternoons and evenings.
Update short version:
I had medical appointments last week.
My CT scan (which is imaging of my chest, abdomen, pelvis) was “stable”. Excellent news! We DO NOT want the cancer to migrate to the soft tissue organs. It’s much more difficult to manage.
My tumor marker blood work rose again (not great, we want lower, not higher). This alone is not evidence of how things are going.
My oncologist is good with the CT scans so we continue onward. The new medication may be working. (I’m nervous and concerned because I have lobular breast cancer which can migrate to the GI track and other places and it does NOT show up on imaging.)
So, onward! More medication, more walking daily, more trying to be intentional. I hope you all are living each day to it’s fullest. You are not guaranteed tomorrow.
If you are on Instagram my MBC account is @nottodaymbc
Longer version. I’m in a clinical trial where I don’t know if I’m getting the extra medication being tested or a placebo. In researching it more, I’m thinking I just want the actual meds. 🙂 They are FDA approved for this use, the trial is to see how effective they area.
I’m a HUGE advocate and proponent for science. You all know that.
This clinical research trial (CRT) is basically taking the “regular” medicine alone vs. taking the “regular” medicine with an “extra” medicine. The phase II trial showed that the “extra” medicine extended the time before a breast cancer patient had progression. (Progression is when the cancer finds a way to grow.) The trial I’m currently enrolled in is to determine how much more time a patient gets before progression.
Like I said, I’m all about science.
But this is personal. This is literally a matter of life and death.
I might be getting the “extra” medicine and then that would be great. I might be getting the placebo and missing out on the benefit of the other meds.
I don’t think I’m willing to risk not getting the “extra” medicine.
If I withdraw from the trial will it set back science? Yes, maybe a little.
Will it give me piece of mind to know I’m getting the actual meds and not the placebo? Yes, for sure.
What if I’m already getting the “extra” meds? I don’t know. Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. There is a 50/50 chance.
I’ve been thinking about all of this a lot; especially since my cancer tumor marker bloodwork is not great. Why are those numbers rising? Is it because they are unreliable or is it because this lobular breast cancer (that doesn’t show up on imaging) is growing in some other area?
So. Much. Uncertainty.
I really thought that science was more concrete than this. This is more like art mixed with science with a dash of uncertainty sprinkled in.
So what to do?
- Stay positive – do whatever I can to keep a positive mindset and know that I’m doing all I can to be as healthy as possible.
- Be informed – try to read as many scientific articles about this trial and the medication as possible
Cara was here visiting and we went to Colorado Springs for ziplining and whitewater rafting.
Evelyn moves in to the dorms today at the University of Colorado.
Maddy starts her sophomore year of high school on Thursday.
Glen and I celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary last week.
I’m not letting life pass me by and you should not either. Seize the day.
Fluvestrant (Flaslodex) monthly (2 shots) – Selective Estrogen Receptor Degrader (shuts down estrogen)
Lupron monthly (1 shot) – puts me in menopause
Zometa, quarterly (infusion) – bone strengthener